A note from our Pastor’s desk:

“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

Colossians 3:20

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

Colossians 3:21

Good Morning Dearly Beloved,

The Apostle Paul has just finished giving us the “marriage talk,” showing how husbands and wives can reflect God’s love in the messy reality of daily life. But as any parent knows, the dynamics of a home change the second a child enters the picture. It’s one thing to practice grace with your spouse; it’s a whole different ballgame when you’re dealing with chores, curfews, and growing personalities. In these next two verses, the Apostle pivots from the couple to the kids, shifting the focus from how we love our partners to how we raise the next generation. He’s showing us that the “Gospel living” he’s been talking about isn’t just for grown-ups—it’s a family affair that starts with heart-level obedience and ends with parents who lead with grace instead of a heavy hand.

Verse 20 begins with the children and an instruction to obey. The verse, read out of context, gives a harsh instruction to children. Parents can misapply this verse to create a home where parents are the absolute authority and rule with an iron fist. 

However, the chapter’s larger context and the second half of this verse do not support that understanding. The Apostle establishes in the second half of the verse that children’s obedience should be pleasing to the Lord. In other words, it should reflect worship of God, as well as grace, love, mercy, and empathy. The historical context of the Apostle’s writing is again important to proper interpretation. The culture’s standards required children to obey their parents almost to the point of being servants. The Apostle is not merely reinforcing the accepted standard, but rather instructing children in the church to obey their parents so they can learn to be obedient to God. 

Verse 21 then addresses the parents’ role in raising the children. The Apostle specifically addresses fathers in this verse because, in the culture of the day, fathers had authority over their wives and children. However, today’s disciples should read this as an instruction to both parents equally. The intention of verse 21 is to shape the tone of parenting. The Apostle instructs parents to guide their children in the way Christ guides believers. Christ has firm standards of behavior appropriate to discipleship. But those standards are equally mixed with grace, love, and empathy. Parents likewise should have clear standards of behavior for their children, but should combine this with patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and kindness.

The goal of parenting is not a perfectly quiet house. The standard for parenting should not be the absence of mess, difficult interactions, or differences of opinion. The standard should be a home where the child’s spirit is protected. The goal in the home should be for a family to live the commandment to love God and to love their neighbor. Ultimately, these two verses remind us that the home is a small-scale laboratory for the Gospel. When we look at verses 20 and 21 together, we see that God isn’t looking for robotic compliance or a “perfect” family photo; He is looking for a household that breathes the same grace we’ve been given.

As you move through your week, try to view your family interactions through this lens. If you’re a child (of any age!), ask yourself if your respect for your parents reflects your worship of God. If you’re a parent, ask yourself if your discipline is making it easier or harder for your child to believe that God is a loving Father. We won’t get it right every time—and that’s where the grace of the previous verses comes back in—but when we lead with empathy and follow with heart-level obedience, we create a home that truly “pleases the Lord.”

Our Prayers are with you daily,

Brother Jeremiah